London visit / Into The Wild

was on a plane to London and thinking of how much seething I may feel in my visit. I knew this must be over come lightly but I find it so hard to "pupallapup" or "bullshit" with western society. It usually makes me sick, more so than the dark side of Cambodia, more than having a gun pointed at me as a joke by an uneducated poorly paid policeman who has no idea why he is closing the streets surrounding Toel Sleng Museum. I could not cope with the thought of the frivolous conversations I would overhear and participate in, in the west. I was on the verge of a panic attack.By chance on the plane I saw the film playing on the main screen, "Into The Wild", I had no intention of watching anything and I was sad that I was recently robbed for the 2nd or 3rd time in Cambodia, this time drugged, my personal belongings searched and my irreplaceable I pod was stolen. Music means a lot to me and I had none for the 12-hour flight. I saw as I glanced to the main screen that all songs from "Into The Wild" were written by Eddie Vedder, a teenage favorite of mine and I thought to put down my book "Cambodia, year Zero" (I have read and watched everything about Cambodia but still "everything" is a literal word so I was reading this book to make sure I could honestly say "everything"). Putting the book down helped me prepare for my return to the west and my beloved and hated London. In the film the main character, Alex, is using the hate he feels inside and transferring it to give love and hope to others. That's something that's fine and easy to do in Cambodia but in the UK? Then I thought this film is set in the U.S.A. a place I have found more self-centered and shallow than any other country I have lived. There must be those like Alex in London, they may have taken a different route but their heart is the same. I need to view all people as him and find those few that give a shit about life outside their own morals, value's and cultural ideas on polite and acceptable behavior, those that are willing and wanting to help others with out any need for praise, thank you's or formal credit.My return from London was surreal, I loved and hated my visit as I had already predicted but I was shocked by the result of my expectations, which were not that great, and not as I had predicted. Those I thought would come through did so more out of obligation than anything else and those I thought would be full of "pupallapup" had more energy and acceptance than I could believe was true, but it was! I was also amazed by my own emotional reaction to the ability people to completely remove themselves from their immediate environment. This is something that I have tried but never succeeded in doing, and also something I have seen many times in many countries so why was I so taken back and affected? This I do not know but will be sure to write again if I ever see reason.Future visits to London seem to be on the cards again from an unexpected source that shares my dream of connecting the UK and Cambodia. This I am already preparing for, my dreams of walking London streets again are paralleled with the harshness and expectations of English society and the indifference of the people in it. To quote Eddie Vedder "How much difference does it make?" If it makes any, then it is something I am willing to work for.In conclusion, the film "Into The Wild" I will watch again and recommend it to others as a beautiful journey of a young man in search of humanity in such a false country. He takes a brave and honest search amongst his own people to find trust and love without needing to leave or let go of western values. Simply put "he rocks".